A response letter to a very homophobic picture placed beside a balanced editorial piece on same sex civil unions. I urge you to take time to read the points brought up by Mr Ng Yi-Sheng.

Dear Andy Ho,

As a gay man, I’d like to thank you for sharing your views in your article on Saturday May 19, p.A38, “Same-sex union can’t be labelled ‘marriage’”. I truly appreciate the fact that you’re standing up for civil unions, which is more than any other senior writer is doing so far.

However, I would not like to thank whichever editor was responsible for commissioning Adam Lee to print that huge anti-gay logo beside your editorial. It is offensively homophobic, almost inflammatorily so, just as star and crescent crossed out would be anti-Muslim or a female symbol crossed out would be anti-woman. I think you’ll agree that it misrepresents the fact that your article is a good deal more balanced than that.

I myself am in favour of same-sex marriage, and I’d like to two points in your article which I believe are problematic.

First, you draw on the idea of marriage being akin to a trademarked symbol, not unlike McDonald’s or Yale University. It’s not. It’s a concept that’s evolved over the years and is interpreted differently by different cultures. In the same way that “porridge” and “carrot” mean different things to people in Singapore and New York, “marriage” means different things to an 18th century Chinese merchant with ten stay-at-home wives and a 21st century Filipino household where husband and wife work in different countries for years on end.

Currently, our standard definition of marriage is a union two people make because they are in love and want to support each other. Children have little to do with it. And of course, sterile opposite-sex couples are allowed - almost encouraged - to adopt. Same-sex couples should also have that right, given that studies have shown they are equally good parents as their opposite-sex counterparts, if not better.

Also, remember that “gay marriage” is not an abstract concept: there are already ten countries in the world which allow same-sex marriage. Some people with these marriage certificates are living in Singapore. If you’re attempting to limit the definition of marriage to opposite-sex couples, you’re pretty much trying to close the stable door after the horses have bolted.

Second, you claim that extending marriage rights to same-sex couples would “tarnish [the] symbolic value” of marriage. Though this statement is too abstracted to be proven right or wrong, I’d like to point out that contemporary societies which have legalised same-sex marriage have seen no harm come to opposite-sex marriage: there are no climbing divorce rates, no higher instances of abuse, no dramatic declines in childbirth. The concept may have changed, but actual people aren’t suffering.

Once again, I’d like to thank you for your support of same-sex civil unions. As you know, this year’s PinkDot is on Saturday, 30 June at Hong Lim Park. I hope you’ll come. I’m going to make a large sign saying “I support civil unions” so that you can hold it for everyone to see. That is the message that Singaporeans need to hear.

Yours sincerely,

Ng Yi-Sheng
Writer, reporter and educator

My new sidebar. No more mister nice guy..

(Source: tooshorttobewith)

FEB 2012

Perhaps Madonna wasn’t the only one to “confuse” her personal treatment with that of gay men. The feeling was mutual. As she exploded in popularity Madonna became identified with the collective gay male sense of self. So when she moved on, devoting less and less time to her gay compatriots, many felt a twinge of abandonment. That’s when bitching about Madonna became the great gay pastime.

“I never left them,” insists Madonna, echoing a lyric from Evita. “When you’re single, you certainly have more time to socialize and hang out with your gay friends, but then you get married and you have a husband and you have children, and your husband wants you to spend time with him. I’m not married anymore, but I have four kids, and I don’t have a lot of time for socializing.” She’s been back in New York for two years, after splitting with Ritchie.

“I hope nobody’s taking that personally. It certainly was not a conscious decision. As it stands, most of my friends in England are gay. But I’m back,” she says, adding reassuringly, “Never fear.”

To many fans, that symbiosis has the outward appearance of the relationship Madonna had with her gay fans earlier in her career. Gaga has an intertwined dependence in which her fans’ pain and alienation are bound up with her own. Perhaps every generation gets the gay icon it needs. For today’s wave of queer youth, it’s Gaga, who is spreading the antibullying gospel. But she has undoubtedly taken cues from the Madonna playbook. Whether she’s singing the “Express Yourself” — reminiscent “Born This Way” or producing her Truth or Dare-like HBO concert film, Gaga is following a trail that Madonna blazed.

(Source: hazeldrop, via venomous-viper)